Reasoning the Unreasonable~Where Hope Lies n Die

Me and Pakma

People around me come n go like wind. I miss them like breeze, just a feel n then all gone. Forever alone they said, but I will survive this, enduring this, even I have to crawl up n fall down as this what I have choose and what I wanna do.

In this stage I just fake everything. Emotion distorted, feeling faded, smile n laughter just a mere instrument; in the end, non are real. Lack of confident they said, but it just a natural mechanism to preserve what left while the integrity getting crumble. I have more believe in god rather to anyone around me, they seem unimportant since they are temporary, but when HE the one that send those people, I just accept them, they might be my saviour after all.

Its been a while I havent update anything n yet I barely get into my point. I wonder if I have one. I tried to grasp everything in the past, but I realize, they beyond my grasp. That the moment I walk away.

This is not a thesis, not a chapter 4 where result n discussion lies. I dun have to rearrange all the sub topics because non were read. It just burst of emotion even they are fake. I hav no audience neither a target, just a spare time to write n fill n forget.

Life is short n yet I waste it. People said I'm amazing! but is that true?... I seem to know everyone, but I barely know my self. I hate people pitying me,,, what the point? your sympathy could never save me just like comforting a hungry kitten, giving hope and a hope that die with a hope.

~Everyday is like other day, I will walk with them, but my shadow remain single~