You Such A PIG

When I see you, I hate you,

When I hate you, I ignore you,

Did you notice that?

No, you don't!

Because you are just a simply minded or lack of sensitiveness,

You dunno people angry with you?

Use your head! PIG!

*sry PIG I keep using your name... not your fault, it just easier to use PIG than his name.... TQ PIG

SHE worthless

a woman is a woman, never a man, never be a man, even she tried to be a man,

This a story regarding a woman that tried to be a man. Bisexual and homosexual, neither I care. For me its always as "Accept me as I am and you shall be accepted" + "Dun disturb me, and you won't be disturbed".

Its common that she can change the personalities in a period, but still the fragile heart remain. And that why, you can lie who you are, but you can't lie who you actually are.

I no longer like you, that a fact. For me you are a narrow-minded person, when obsession conquering logic. Narrow-mind is my enemy, because there are no space for people like me inside, when you always true and others are wrong. I know that not your principle, because its your blind loyalty. The eyes that worth nothing.

People are build with ego, no one can deny that. But the most stupid ego is to close your mind from learning and knowing - The point where you collapse.

I wont blame you, because that you, you are insignificant and yet you are my friend. Time will teach you, and you will learn, as you said "learning by experience is matter than learning in orthodoxy method".

As I write this, my feeling for you dissipate, I feel sad as I though all this time you are an open-minded person with all you have gone through, and now I realize it just an empty shell. You can be what you want to be or what you believe, as neither of that will affect me because I know you go no where.

You are You and Me is Me - obsession killing your sense

"Love The Way You Lie" Original Demo by Skylar Grey

Look into my eyes, did u see despair?

Natural Eyes (i dun know but the colour recently get very2 brown)

with contact lense

Here if you cant see it clearly

Wearing contact lens is not very fun actually, my eye lashes too long so it cost me lot hard time to put it in. Btw hygiene is very very crucial, because you must want to avoid any infection such as acanthamoeba which i have previously worked with. And second, I wear it for fun... so its Halloween everyday haha, people got shocked mostly including those makcik2 at the shop and my supervisor T_T.... anyway, remember that it just for fun!

The price for knowing

I always got upper hand on every knowledge, info, gossip2 (sry no cheap gossip, including celebrity). But those info going to make you feel the pain of knowing too much… secrets are hard to keep and come in a great price.

When you think of being an informative person, make sure it does not involve secret and only plain knowledge of certain field. If not, stitch your mouth or you going to hurt your self or ppl around you.

-advise for myself

Ghost of The Past

I missing my old self, my old-friend, but I buried him too deep - Please, Rest in Peace

I did once try to take him back, but I fail. My new-self too strong, bonded with everything around me, my friends, my emotion, my evolution. While the old, was too weak, fragile, and obedient, slaved by the time of maturity. Its kill him, hurting him, forcing him to be "other". 


Who is this actually him? Why did I care too much? Past is just a past, shadow of present. 


He is pure plain white paper, a personalities shaped with kind and truth. Neither sinister and rebellious act exist. Coloured with crayon and colour pencil. Not with water colour, printer ink or colour spray. On it, the most ugly drawing of bird you have seen, with false blend of colour; too good to be lough at and yet its pure and sincere. The  drawing is the view of life in his perspective, on which everything is kind and sincere. But when he meet others, being sad, being hurt; so the colour changed, the style became complex; and that the time he relize that, he have to die for other to born. So the new he buried the old one. 


Time is a cure and a killer. This "he" is my past. He must be remembered because he the window to the past; like an old picture that resembling memoir of the past.


[Like the bird on the drawing. It is ugly trash drawing. But it is bird, a symbol of heaven, because Angel got wings]


To the old-self, please rest in peace. Let me carry the burden so that you wont be tainted. Please remain pure, because you are relic of the past.

Upon your grave, I will build the future, even I have to colour all black. I wont let your sacrifice for nothing. Please pray for my luck, O my past.


                                                                                                                 Akmal Mahazar, 2011

My Friends

Several things I usually describe my friends;

They are special,

They are sometimes annoying,

They are freak,

They are informative,

They like a breeze, come and go energetically,

They like a present, you dunno what the surprise,

They like a bee, always making noise, noise that u gonna miss when its silent,

They just like a star that making the darkest night seem fun,

They got the most sincere smile u have ever see,

They are cleaver in their own way,

They know me most, even from myself,

They never break my heart,

They teach me many things,

They are people I call brothers and sisters, ignoring their race, religion and status,

They are people that miss me, and I miss them too,

They are people that make a piece of my life seem very valuable,

They are supportive,

I dun like people to badmouth them... they are my FRIENDS not your... My best best best friends, and I love you guys

P/S: Sry the post quite colorful lol