I never forgive, I never forget, by I do accept,

I'm sorry for everything happen. Part of those mistake from your side as well mine. I do not like to say "because human always made mistake", it just sound very childish. I'm sorry if I being very sensitive and at the same time insensitive to your feeling. But that is me.. Miss communication and long kept hatred worsen it all.

For now, let the past by pass. Acting as it never happen, gonna help a lot.
I never forgive and never forget, but if you and I, let it just pass by. And the memory blurred... consider it forgiven.

Do not worry about others perspective. They are my friends and also your friends. You might got place to cry on, but mine is them. The haze will clear, because my feeling and them work as one, because when I accept, they also would.

This should be a good lesson for both side. Taking people for granted never rewarding us.

I'm here to make friends. Being remembered and remembering, the feeling just much more worthy than a paper of the degree I got. Paper only show, but it never comfort you in time of difficulties.

Giving second chance never in my options. But for the sake of a new beginning, perhaps its worth something to try.

We hurt, we bleed, we feel. Never treat people as you think they might recover fast. Because there are always scar that remembering everything. People won't be same, that made us special, and that made us fragile, but when those colour of life combined, they actually works as one.

Boys.. girls... that just gender. Feeling and emotion just the same stuff. Either its hard as steel, calm as water, elastic as plastic or fragile as glass.You choose, what you wanna be... mine is glass.

The past is a past, but the scars remain - let time heals them. So it would be forgotten.

There are much to do, with less time to think - let us choose the better way and hope it the correct way.

My feeling still hurts but its getting well. Good luck to you and to me. This might be how god want us to learn, but somehow in a bitter way - and I hope we taste the bitterness as part of life.

-Sun do shine, Moon do glow-

A story of living like a puppet

Have you ever wonder when to stop pretending? Smiling when you aren't happy, laughing when it’s aren't funny. But one for real, cry when it’s sad and it’s real, the saddest is…. no one would know.

Always judging people around and being judge by them, its like karma. But one for sure, that rarely do, is to judge our self. We like forbidden thing, as long its forbidden it’s a bless. A sinful bless.

Living as a puppet. A sign of good liar, an expert of emotional control and also a sign of self distortion. Which the life it self, a big lie; a theater of drama, with all natural actors but only one watching and knowing it’s just a drama… the puppet it self.

We lie, we talk big, we walk in agony, but simply… we still know that it’s going no where… we hope to stop, wishing for the end and yet we simply do it again… just like a spinning wheel, “up down up down”.

A life to regret and still they’re always option to choose.

I never hope for them to aged..... but some aged for good

Cute, handsome, young, God focus on this special creation, n bla bla bla.... I always asking myself, why some people that look very very handsome/pretty (in the time we meet) turn to be..... other creature? Like we dunno... really2 dunno..... mcm Laila (kawan Jenny) pernah kata.... ada org letak ubat gmuk dalam air dia.. yg menyebabkan dia jadi gmuk............ I dunno how aging make people seem very differ... 
Here the story... I got a friends that I think very2 handsome in past 6 years... and after 6 years not meeting him... all the facial structure change.. like changing into other people that I never know ... (I not recognize him at all, like monster)... and some that very so so... became so masculine,,,, (never go for gym)... it make me think... how can this happen...? I even think.... will I became positive or negative.. in this growth process?   If you have ever watch the Curiuos Case of Benjamin Button (if I spell it Correct)... we would like it to be just like that... so youth full in the late age... waaa like dream come true.

But my auntie always said.. if you always happy,,, never done anything wrong that lead to feel uneasy or guilt. You will be younger than your age. So the conclusion, problems are unworthy to be worried negatively, but need to be solve with open-minded and positive thinking. DON'T LET YOU AGED BEFORE TIME!

A new begining.... for my old self...

Just another me...

Dear people,,, today is my birthday, a sign that I have already 22. Well nothing planned to celebrate it. Why, I'm just busy or more sincerely I don't feel I have too. Me, myself comes from a family that not celebrate this day. I just know people celebrate it from movie n whatever.

But I never expect many people wish me happy birthday and that make my heart melt. A power of bound and information.

So, I just wanna say and express my deep gratitude for remembering me as well as being very sweet to me. Forgot all the gift, I don't need that. I just wish to be carved in your memory as a people that embrace his friends.

Let me share you something,,, as for the new year and my birthday; I want to obtain my old self. A far different people you know from today since I'm very ignorance hahahaa. Forgive me for all the mistake I have done so I can be what I used to be, a long time ago. Thank you.... dear friends.

Story of star that sometimes bright and sometimes dim

Colour of Face

I have a special request to describe someone that we know,,,,,,,. this people we have know since first semester at UMT,,,, very bright, positive, righteous, and also friendly. For me She was a good friend ( as long she didn't back stabbing me or my friend ). At first semester, she was very energetic, seeing the spirit pumped us too. She was very friendly toward every single people including lecturer, however her friendly and self identity sometimes being miss understood as lobbying others but I know she not as other portrait it.

Being very different was sometimes hard; I know because I feel it too. The similarities between she and me is that we have a such unstable emotion, but the different is how we manage it. My advice to her; talking to others or making statement was very crucial with correct body language and the tone you use. Some people cannot respect or show other way to respect people, to survive in this condition you must keep the pace of your spirit down and slowly so that it wont be very obvious till the emotion resembled on your face. I also can see the different in her personalities in her; other say ''the dress isn't fit, the makeup weird! you cant wear that thick makeup in this very sunny day!". Sometimes I have to agree on those opinion. Fitting in other is not easy which you have to follow their step, sometimes we have to stand on what we believe but sometimes their are right and vice verse; this is the Quid pro quo (The price for that) where in order to have something there must be something you must exchange. Those that can fit and blend in other without sacrificing their identity was a survival of the fittest, those not fit shall be rejected and this is the normal way of the rule.

Back to the topic. At this final year many changes has happen to her; some describe it as personalities shock that happen when somebody exposed to many factor that might lead to confuse of self identity. Well for me, I accept as you can accept me; an advice again, those word are irritating for sure, people can say anything and none can stop that. Either you reject that or take that as an advice that comes in a bitter way, or seeing into your self. Denying own self was hurting but the achievement after that was sweet. Homo hominis lupus (Man's a predator to another man). Some say her voice was too loud and I happily can say yes! that truth! well in other perspectives that voice irritating their ears! since they are people that comes with very complex do and don't manner.... this kind of people mix with people that mostly comes from upper class than our the middle class. Knowing them before hating them is a wisdom of those survival; we cant blame them for the way they think or be because that way was far more evolve. And yet we will became like that when we got to that level. Dress resembling pride, makeup resembling pride, altitude resembling pride, this is the Vanitas vanitatum where all making up a complex personalities. Different people have different aspect of pride..... for me your voice have spirit in it, but the space belong to everybody; sometimes people have bad mood or memory, when a loud shock can irritate them..... we cant win all heart...

She have a good friends by her side; but can she prove to other that consider her as annoying girl that she can balance and change? can became very high level? can she amaze us? truthfully I also wanna see.... every people have a complex personalities, many have more than two personalities, but which are dominance to others? winning other people heart is not what I ask neither to became other than you wanna be. But sometimes, a surprise can change people mind. We wanna see can you adapt?

Too many I want to write; but the decision is still up to her, became your self doesn't mean became other; but it like a melody....