Double Trouble

Jun and July seem to be a tough month to me... they are very unpredictable.... and yet I still sitting here and enduring it by myself... I really2 need to meet my adviser Badri Rozali to talk...

Speaking of tough, a past few hours ago.. I have been gazing Zatil Najat profile pic on facebook.. the pic show the figure of heart that have been divided into several sections which is not very scientific... (I dun think it scientific at all, but give unique thought in my mind...(trigger me to think)...) showing different part of what I believe "LIFE".... a section of romance, a section of defensive behaviors and ect..

Make me wonder... what is the biggest chamber in my heart...

Maybe it's Joy or Hatred... I cant decide... the smallest... maybe living without friends... well I dunno.... maybe someone close enough to me may define all those chamber... time move so fast... I even barely know my friends, they change too (a lot) as well am I.

Heh... the title of this post didn't seem to define the content... well so be it.. ha ha.

I wish July being good to you reader... and I wish they being good to be too,,,  bye: XD

I never forgive, I never forget, by I do accept,

I'm sorry for everything happen. Part of those mistake from your side as well mine. I do not like to say "because human always made mistake", it just sound very childish. I'm sorry if I being very sensitive and at the same time insensitive to your feeling. But that is me.. Miss communication and long kept hatred worsen it all.

For now, let the past by pass. Acting as it never happen, gonna help a lot.
I never forgive and never forget, but if you and I, let it just pass by. And the memory blurred... consider it forgiven.

Do not worry about others perspective. They are my friends and also your friends. You might got place to cry on, but mine is them. The haze will clear, because my feeling and them work as one, because when I accept, they also would.

This should be a good lesson for both side. Taking people for granted never rewarding us.

I'm here to make friends. Being remembered and remembering, the feeling just much more worthy than a paper of the degree I got. Paper only show, but it never comfort you in time of difficulties.

Giving second chance never in my options. But for the sake of a new beginning, perhaps its worth something to try.

We hurt, we bleed, we feel. Never treat people as you think they might recover fast. Because there are always scar that remembering everything. People won't be same, that made us special, and that made us fragile, but when those colour of life combined, they actually works as one.

Boys.. girls... that just gender. Feeling and emotion just the same stuff. Either its hard as steel, calm as water, elastic as plastic or fragile as glass.You choose, what you wanna be... mine is glass.

The past is a past, but the scars remain - let time heals them. So it would be forgotten.

There are much to do, with less time to think - let us choose the better way and hope it the correct way.

My feeling still hurts but its getting well. Good luck to you and to me. This might be how god want us to learn, but somehow in a bitter way - and I hope we taste the bitterness as part of life.

-Sun do shine, Moon do glow-

Hate n Love ?

I can't say much about what hate or love is....cause I don't know the definition for both... some might think I differ from others.. but what can I say.. I just a friend type n not a love type.. sincerely I treasure my friend very much,, I'm very choosy in picking friends..not because there are not good or what so ever,,, but as I know most of my friend are not very normal.. for me they not because there have there own altitude and behavior that make them they.. I accept it even though its bitter and eyesore.

Here some of the name that some of you might recognize and what make them special for me and if your name not listed; that mean I didn't have enough time to wrote:

Kamil: very simple minded person, however a friend in joy ( I need one)

Badri: ohwww this very different, but I trust him the most; where all the secret I share. He is a good person if you know him better; very complex mind, hard to understand n never talk bad. I hope he know that I want to graduate together with him.

Acab: interesting very dirty thinking but I can depend on him.

Syafiq: kuat merajuk kalah aku! but very tolerate. Became dangerous when he like to keep all the hatred and sadness alone. (every people have problem and sadness; if you can observe it to their heart you can became an excellent friend type person)

Amir: I know he has many secret but I won't interfere with it. because all the matter are not interesting for me to know.

Leo: At the first time we talk, he like to throw out every sentence in his mind... very annoying. but now he change completely with better understanding. I like him becoz of he concern to others. Something most ppl lack today.

Shamin: I hate him and I like him. a very complex person to understand and that make me stick to know him.... a person that I know will survive without other at his back.

Sam: I can't talk much I dunno him to the core, but my advice to those lover since he was a very lovely person to girls; if you love somebody very much plz open your mind together with your heart so that you know that you are not fooling your self with uncertain matter.

Tan: he like my brother, I like him even though he not very dependent, I like him the way he is. Such a sweet person.

Low: a big brother, I hope he will found his dearest ppl. Such a romantic person. I know...

Jenny: A very nice person, from the first I meet her, she was very beautiful.... I hope she can diet a little. I like to see her smile... a very nice and fun person.. like to work with her...

Jihan: I dunno her much, but she always being good to me and I think that enough to call her a friend of mine.

Zatil: My first girl friend, not this ''GIRL FRIEND''. I can talk much with her,,, very simple minded and easily predicted. She has a nice heart and much hatred to informal behavior and life style... (understand your.... and he shall understand you; this what a friend of mine told me and I give it to you)

Zila: what I know a friend of Jenny.....

So many people I want to talk about.... but I afraid I can't.

I accept them that accept me. for me my friends was a part of my self, even they not need me, I do need them a lot. However life must move on, and next year after graduation we shall follow our own path.

Every time I gone to my classes, I just wish to see my friend smile back to me and that just enough. Because we must not hate someone that have became part of our self.. Myself.