Drip drip drop

I hear the sound of rain,

so tender and calm to my soul,

like a soul of a girl,

that touch your heart with her words,

 

Drip drip drop;

 

I hear it again,

The sound of fallen rain,

Drop upon a cold floor,

As cold as my empty heart,

 

Drip drip drop;

 

Its cold in here,

Chilling till the bones,

Cause bones is what left for me,

In this empty grave I rest in peace.

Watch your mouth BITCH!

Today I really2 angry, let me be straight. my fat cousin (girl) back stab me… calling me black even-tough you are also black, won’t admit me as her cousin (like I want to admit you fat ass), plus her mom also kind of the same. What I do? NOTHING!. Whay they so noisy with me? They don’t give me money, comfort me, or what ever,,, Did I talk behind them? NO. Why I not really care about them?, because I do not really close to them… just in the name of uncle, auntie and nephew. Every one of the family feel angry with them, also my other nephew.

Her ambition to be a doctor, listen to me, that fat body of you won’t let you became a doctor! Now I pray you will not achieve anything. I never pay attention to you before this, but now I am. And I wishing for the worst! your current CGPA 3.00? and you currently in matrix program. Sincerely, you wont make it. You think because you a nephew, you can ask around people for their money, you know that your financial isn’t that strong and yet you treat people that support you like your Swiss Bank. You better watch out, they are losing their patient on you!

All the past 4 years I have be really2 patient with you family rude behavior. Now it payback time. I wont regret and you shall fall. Next time we meet, I’m not your cousin but your worst enemy. Btw, your rude behavior has make you to get lot enemy, you wouldn't get nowhere. Oh, your mom very2 concern about your fallen gred (I hope it keep falling), I can see from her eyes that looking at us (that have pass our degree and pursuing our master), she know you wouldn't became what you hope.

Let your dream parish, I will the one that lough at the end, and it always the same ending I see on people like you.

Cry BITCH!

Mizz Nina Feat.Colby O Donis–What You Waiting For

Check out this music video, its nice. Actually I heard this song like it but never watch the video or care about who the artist of Mizz Nina… but Colby yup I know him (basically) because of GaGA I think. By the way, the song great! superb, even though, there were many criticism since she a Malay which is believe to be far from what being call as Malay Values… yup   she is sexy (damn). However, I want to give 5 stars out of 5 because,,, haahahaha this song more good than that Datuk Siti, lol.

*I’m going to buy the album, but is this the only song from her? hit single?

A story of living like a puppet

Have you ever wonder when to stop pretending? Smiling when you aren't happy, laughing when it’s aren't funny. But one for real, cry when it’s sad and it’s real, the saddest is…. no one would know.

Always judging people around and being judge by them, its like karma. But one for sure, that rarely do, is to judge our self. We like forbidden thing, as long its forbidden it’s a bless. A sinful bless.

Living as a puppet. A sign of good liar, an expert of emotional control and also a sign of self distortion. Which the life it self, a big lie; a theater of drama, with all natural actors but only one watching and knowing it’s just a drama… the puppet it self.

We lie, we talk big, we walk in agony, but simply… we still know that it’s going no where… we hope to stop, wishing for the end and yet we simply do it again… just like a spinning wheel, “up down up down”.

A life to regret and still they’re always option to choose.

Two great Artist

 

I rarely hear to hiphop… but this music just to catchy. Like it because my ear loves it

raya raya raya raya raya raya

yeah yeah esk raya

(ulang lagi)x10

esk raya

(ulang lagi)x3

sekian saja update blog kali ini

 

 

*WTF

Night + Ghostly + Senseless

 

Friday Night–Lily Allen

Malam jumaat sambil mengkagumi iTunes media player, tetiba terdengar lagu ini. Pelik rasanya sebab walaupun lagu diatas telah sedia ada tapi baru beberapa minutes lepas mendengarnya (pelik aku type dgn bahasa pnuh… anggaplah latihan penulisan BM).

Malam ni kelakar sgt,,, sbb tadi kat astro ada crita “beranak dalam kubur” (ghost story), tp problemnya aku ketawa plak masa hantu tu kuar ha ha…. aku rasa aku dah jadi sloww sikit process maklumat LOL. Nak main game pun takder mood n akhirnya tertulis blog. Journalism so not my life! but I finally end up here.. wasting a little time to get my sleepy state. Harap2 tak ada yg membazir masa baca blog ni….

Walaupun hari ini hari jumaat or creepy friday night as many people selalu kata but for islamic friday is special day… org melayu suka fikir bukan2 pasal mlm jumaat… nasib baik aku jawa <rumpun melayu gak>

Hari ni tertengok gambar shamin kat FB yg sedang menjalani training kat UTM… ps: dia dah gmuk… gosh…. oh mari sembang pasal shamin…. I know him masa first year… org yg suka tersenyum n tersengih….. oh so not in my friend list…. well I don’t like him at all!….. pernah tak tegur satu sem! but then the last 3 sem sunddenly became friend….. not very close… but one of ppl I think worth to waste that phone credit….. maybe sbb sikap dia yg senseless n bad humor…. akhir nya aku kalah! sbb susah nak buat org mcm ni faham kita tak suka dia, n lama2 kita teradapt pulak kawan ngan dia. Btw terasa nak puji sikit shamin ni.. dia seorang yg tinggi leader ship… semangat setiakawan n jiwang tak bertempat… N marilah kawan ngan budak bernama shamin sbb walaupun anda tak suka dia lama2 kita akan auto adapt sbb dia ni immune to provocation, n sinister plan…

aku baru perasan….. isi kandungan blog ni bercampur aduk! What a trash!

This is hilarious

I found this in you tube... but i dun dare to share on my FB.. so here ok i guess.. but its true.. protect your self n other lol

PS: cant believe they are educational video like this

Postgraduate….

this the status of my application at UPM…. and below is the offer letter from UPM

So we see.. gu gu gu

P/S: My butt already have a sit in UPMn sry for poor picture quality, dunno how to get a better snap

I never hope for them to aged..... but some aged for good

Cute, handsome, young, God focus on this special creation, n bla bla bla.... I always asking myself, why some people that look very very handsome/pretty (in the time we meet) turn to be..... other creature? Like we dunno... really2 dunno..... mcm Laila (kawan Jenny) pernah kata.... ada org letak ubat gmuk dalam air dia.. yg menyebabkan dia jadi gmuk............ I dunno how aging make people seem very differ... 
Here the story... I got a friends that I think very2 handsome in past 6 years... and after 6 years not meeting him... all the facial structure change.. like changing into other people that I never know ... (I not recognize him at all, like monster)... and some that very so so... became so masculine,,,, (never go for gym)... it make me think... how can this happen...? I even think.... will I became positive or negative.. in this growth process?   If you have ever watch the Curiuos Case of Benjamin Button (if I spell it Correct)... we would like it to be just like that... so youth full in the late age... waaa like dream come true.

But my auntie always said.. if you always happy,,, never done anything wrong that lead to feel uneasy or guilt. You will be younger than your age. So the conclusion, problems are unworthy to be worried negatively, but need to be solve with open-minded and positive thinking. DON'T LET YOU AGED BEFORE TIME!

My current state...

After graduating from UMT... I had doing so well in managing my house..... (I dun work!)... wake-up on 9 a.m. tidy the house, feed the cat and cook for lunch... doing laundry.. but I cant wait to meet December. Usually I hate December, cause its the time when the school end, friends have to go separately, and your bank account all seem to be disabled.. but now I waiting the December in curious, further my study at UPM or UKM... btw I doing the coursework only, (my auntie said just to make sure you grade in correct date), I dun get what she mean, in my mind..... whateverrr.
Its damn boring at home, almost drain my sanity. I think I already insane since updating this blog also not in the top priority... as said by Kak Mai "dah lama tak update blog". At home I speak less and move less, there were days I almost not going anywhere, and some I just sit still in front of the lappy starring the screen, just to see if something new pop in the FB notification!
 Gosh I forgot to say something,,,
I still finding my true self, are you? not to be confused... building your self (which I mean) or being build into a person that the society or your friends, parent prefer. Many people aren't happy with their self since they just a model that suit the society or fit into it nicely but not in their soul, like a soulless puppet. When you try to be other, something that fit your self, there were always obstacles... this just a nature... those who fit shall survive. We can't run from being people that not our self... because we need to fit to survive. Those who excel in this,,, I call adapter, with the ability to adapt all state of environmental changes... that why we see people that can fit into all kind of society or bunch of people that something vary between each.... can you find one around you? Then you should learn and adapt like them.
Life is short, and yet it long... to those who understand. Endure it... and always remember, we always have choice....

Alexander Rybak - "Roll With The Wind" (Official Music Video)

malaz

saya malas nak update blog... sambung master baru update!

                                                       Bila dah mlz segalanya pun malaz

Unjust sentence for Japanese anti-whaling activists | Greenpeace International

Unjust sentence for Japanese anti-whaling activists | Greenpeace International

Changeling not as easy as told

Changing is a process.... a process that need times..... and times that depend on yourself....... so takes your times...... as I always said times always a better cure... plus don't expect to instantly change, change is not like magic with one "poof" you become somebody else..... or what u dream... the key of change is time and your inner self... I trust you as always... my loyal never divide.. as if you are worth to be embrace as friend here and after.........

cited: YM: detkbell (my YM LOL)

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri *Lyrics*

I fall into it..... (love)

Cinema + Nonsense Talk

I will be going to KL this Saturday with my trusted friend badri.... Syamin shall be tehre too (hopefully), even though we are far far away but if one of us really work to treasure the friendship, there no such room for good bye...

Apa lah yg aku merepek ni, terbayang kan Shamin yg gemuk (aku akan cemburu sbb aku tak gemuk2)... But anyway maybe I will satisfy Badri to watch his choice of movie (I have watch all of them dude)... Sam tak leh kluar sbb kerje hari sabtu (contract work really this difficult?)... Nak ajak Zatil but U know she probably busy, plus her mom wont let her out (as she told me before)... Zul (my dearest friend yg suka panggil aku darling, well same as me; suka pura2 jadi kawan baik sebenarnya hampeh) this man dah balik awal ke TRG... aku lupa dia ada kelas 'extra'... I miss that Sabahan n Sarawakian friends... my chinese friend soo damn silent dunno where there are except for Chen n Fong.. but nvm I know they doing well... as for Tan uhhh I know he always in front of his lappy (a paparazi)...

Nadea stay at seremban... (baby sitter do have lot of work, respect U) Syma? clubbing all night long a next generation Kesha i think. Jenna ? see lot of her blog but her FB account like die already!... Kamil (I forget U already) whose I forget to mention? too many people I wanna to bebel but anyway lets put it into one sentence...

U guys light my life....... plz shine others as u shine on me...

Konvo dilemma

Im thinking what should I wear for my convo?

should I wear all red for konvo... or black...... naked is not an option.... should its be plain or boxes n poke dot is not in the list..

how about shoe,,, high heel is never... leather perhaps? my hair! straight yup definitely but what style? GaGa cover album? they will chase me away... and the queen will collapse...

ah I dunno just wanna be perfectly perfect for the day,, family and also my friend.... wanna they look me in my perfect shape or at least ok lerrr for the day that I rather say as the last day I being with them.... sob sob (sedih skit2, anak sulung kena tabah)

I also thinking what others shall wear... baju sama? haha I will definitely notice that! Uh Jenny wear what? hmm curious curious,,,, zatil? tak heran apa dia pakai but wanna know what she gonna add into it (accessories) zila maybe more make-up.... acab? n Sam... I hope they look cute.... I also hope Kak Alyn,, and all da master student such kak fae n da geng would come..... wanna see them badly.... Leo Leo Leo hmm mana budak tu... Jenna, Ummu and who ever they are miss them... distant friend? yeah I wanna see them too.... as I know non-of my schoolmates or roommates die fast all long lived... god bless U guys...... uh lastly nat the bio marine...... uhh wanna see that smile again! Uh I such annoying person hohoho... but that what make me me .... till the day (counting counting) XOXO

RM 7, 000.00 in my mouth

I have being gone to my untie house at UK Perdana which a famous area with celebrity... p/s: their house not very pretty or big.... (I wonder where did they spent their money)

however, the main point,,, I had done bracer to rearrange back my teeth (hard to chew or speak fluently)........ now cant speak extremely fast and eat slowly,,, such a good manner I have.

The cost to make this bracer is very expensive for me but nvm, most of my friend got shock when I share this unrelated news with them... some of them though I was joking... (guys I never joke, I though U guys took it seriously!)

Let me give U some hint of my current look.... I got a line of wire at upper and lower teeth.... with the Upper front teeth were sealed with orange rubber,,, while the the rest are green,,, lower teeth were all blue..... (look like clown)

Dentist aka Untie (Dr.): which colour u want? we have blue, white, red orange etc

Me: I prefer orange: uh ok orange...

Dr.: Uh all orange colour finish.... no more u want other colour? oh u cant speak.... sry then I decide green (pandai2 jer makcik aku ni)

Dr.: alamak hijau pun habis.... gigi bawah ni biru lah...... ok siap...

Me: I feel like having all colourful stuff on my teeth....

Pura2 blogging.....

There was a tiny monster (aka nephew) beside me that try to lure me to left my lappy for him to play due to abundance of games in this lappy, but hahaha U won't get it! so what I do was just typing and typing till he get bored (unfortunately not)... for the past 20 minutes he keep talking about the game he have, what games u have, how difficult the mission uhhhh..... shu shu go away I wanna surfing haiz...

Right now I really in big problem... is there any exorcism ritual to chase away this kid haiz...... I am really paranoid with active children...

Syma making blog?

I dun no where to start,,, ok like this,,, I just read of Pcah with her block which I still didnt subscribe yet, where the hell that she hidden it? ok latter I find it. However, Syma is going to have one too? uh I can imagine what she going to write.... it must be clubbing, dancing, partying, luxurious vacation, BF, BFF, BITCH and a big content of her prob... ah I think I will follow it due to high rate of XOXO dosage.. hoho...

Just one word for that RED LADY....... GO!

A Letter to Jenny

Dear Jenny,

Have you break-up? Gosh I dunno since when did U really gone single (nampak sgt terbaca block edisi wanita ko)... being single sometimes not very good (referring to myself) well u might have ultimate freedom over ur action and no one can say what u can or cant.... but there is times when no one around to rely... or share something more personal other than ur family or best friends... its lonely in my case I always worried that no one thinking of me but its doesn't matter I don't take much times to recover from it.

U know something I also did the same stuff as msg unfortunate friend to disturb them just because we are bored or lonely... my common victim is badri... I dunno why I pick him but I know how long I talk he will patiently listen (I'm not gay) he is my best friend that I know (including U too) this make me think of "what a best friend for?"...

anyway Jenny, life is a life after all... but I dun want to be lonely forever...

I going for Konvo!

Yeah tak boleh jadi tgk Jenny asyik mengupdate Blog nya... mcm dia sorang jer ada blog... serta memenuhkan inbox ku dgn coretan2 hatinya yg separuh adalah garam kasar..... walaubagaimana pun lebih bagus dari zila n kak alyn yg ku rasakan hanya bukak FB menunggu org ramai menyapa mereka seperti celebriti2..... dan yg menjadi paparazinya adalah ku dan saudagar cina Tan Tiong Kai....

Minggu ni akan ke KL tuk menjalani pembedahan gigi.... waaa mau tampak menarik di pesta konvo nanti...... dgn gigi besi.... tercapai jugak hasrat ku untuk menggigit mereka2 yg ku benci hahaha....

Dihati ini ku tak rasa rindu dgn sahabat2 ku sbb jemu melihat mereka sentiasa ada di facebook... (bgs jugak ada bende ni)......

uh cukuplah setakat ini hahahaha (selesai misi update)

Things I don't Like!

Akmal I know u love to do many stuff & have many interest... but they are things this person name akmal don't like:

1. Akmal dun like people to use its property like it was rented

2. Don't like to wait or make people wait.

3. Respect his space, because he need more clean air to think or he became insane

4. Don't bother with his money, he know where to spend it

5. If you plan to live in one roof with him, please be quite and have more sensitivity or you be cursed till death.

6. When it come to PROMISE make sure you keep it. Or he will not promise you anything.

7. If you not his OFFICIAL friends that stated in his friendship list, dun act like one. That the moment you became his OFFICIAL enemy.

8. If he is silent that mean he is angry with somebody near him.

Hope this tips let you more aware of people name Akmal. Because he didn't mind to be a demon if he want to...

March (Akmal, 2010)

Hahaha dah lama tak update blog,,, kata zatil berhabuk huhu...

Today Kak Syma telah berjaya mengimport perfume Ralph Lauren Polo Black yg sangat misteri,,, (bau dia),,, mmg misteri sbb I try a spray n lepas tu tak sampai 15 minutes aku trus tertido.... Uh mmg pelik.... well I kind of like it,,, tq Syma Branded hahahaha.... harga kat luar hmm around RM2++ but dapat RM190 cause bli kat kawasan duty free.... KLIA.

Kak Syma

I like perfume, it make my nose feel very very good and feel relax lots better... uh down here is the ingredient that they use to make the smell... sense magical...

[Frosted mango, Aldehyde Tangerine, Lemon, Fruits of water, Sage, Sandal, Black Patchouli, Timberol, Broad bean Tonka]

POLO BLACK

Hmm another think saya baru dapat tgk Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce telephone.... as expected from Lady Gaga..... nice vid n song.... freak actually but that what I call art and unique....

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone

Hmm my FYP sound good condition.... sekarang tgh study tuk exam.... walaupun cuma 1 per 20 shj waktu dalam sehari study... uh God I am very lazy today hahahaha..... tp rindu rasanya kat staff, master student at Inos especially penghabitat Makmal 3 haha..... I wanna see the amoeba for the last times before I fly over to my kampung....

Sometimes I have chat conservation with people from Canada, Norway, UK, US n where ever, girls man, autie, uncle, straight, bisex, homo, ah I dun care,,,, since I wanna compete with Zila tuk tgk sapa ada kawan paling ramai di YM haha since that I add and being added by people around the globe.... kadang leh jadi duta gak,,, yang paling pelik,,, sometimes I do the vid conversation, U know what they say, (1) you look very young (2) Nice skin colour (3) Your lips is very kissable>>> this are stuff I can never imagine to hear around here,, pretty much it make me appreciate my self n I also think they blind sometimes; usually I response like this... "I dont think so, maybe the cam make me look better on it" ... maybe I should go for oversea for further study and see their response! My YM friends currently 266 people.... I need more... yang paling tak tahan bila tetiba ada peminat yg tak dijemput nak tgk cam shj,,, masa tu lar fungsi invisible sgt bernilai...

People said my face look very convenient for people to interact with, is it? my friend say.. "haha mmg muka mesra, innocent... tp demonic presence tu ada" (Amir, 2010) <<< Amir dengki haha

other... "Your face look like org yg kerja kat kaunter pertanyaan!" (Jenna, 2010).

Eh susah nak jadi kaunter pertanyaan, U have to know lots of stuff,,, n many2 links... but thanks to internet; everything possible... yg paling penting to know all or desire for all knowledge,,, U must be open-minded at the same times put a barrier that keep you away from the knowledge you might gain because not all knowledge made for all type of human...

Uhh nampaknyer I succeed updating this blog for 1 month period haha.. yeah tak yah update sebulan....

This is unacceptable!

I wanna buy something on ebay... and it state that we only have the product at singapore only... malaysia? hmm nop......... waaaa so frustrated!

Why huh?

I just want to have that item lorr.... uh Malaysia plz develop faster but plz conserve the environment too...

I learn this... one of the obstacle of conservation was North-South division which refer to industrialize country at North and Develop country at south... north country have people that mostly educated, well feed and love environment because they have learn from their bad habit of destructing it in the past. Believing they must have and spread conservation to protect globally. why south country full with people that dun wan to learn from past history, stubborn, high poverty, we also believe that we have right to feed our selves even it shall cost the environment.... I can guarantee if u go to any people adult 40++ and say sir our nature is very badly disturbed n bla bla bla... it wont work!

I have been in this taxi and the driver say what u do there,,,, tanam bakau pakcik... and he reply why tanam bakau better go work got money,,,,, bakau can live them selves. uh that poor pakcik need to go for science class! badly.

I an one of scientific community and vow to spread the knowledge even it shall be the pain in ass. shit.

Party, Annoy, Argue, Opinion, Distraction, Sress

Ni buat dalam bahasa Melayu sbb ramai org susah nak faham bila aku cakap depan2 mcm ar aku fail pemahaman sekolah rendah tp mungkin sbb aku tak bertutur mengikut trend org lama2. I dunno nak pergi annual dinner lagi ker tak sbb sound mcm anual party! furthermore, almost all my BFF tak nak pergi, why? because tu dah mcm gathering... untuk pengetahuan korang walaupun tak tanya aku dah cari pakaian n macam2 tp bila dapat info yg last2 minit >>>> combine uh god, my interest gone... sem akhir dah ni, so aku dah tak berapa peduli dah pasal himpun ramai2 ni, sbb I only interest to meet my friends only. tp still tak bg kata putus cause tgk ar kalau BFF aku say "jom ar bg muka" maybe lerr. First sem i dun go fot anual dinner why? I have thing to do at home but i pay; second year, I went sbb bg muka kat kawan aku ni sbb asyik datang umah merayu2, but kawan aku kata yg keter putih tu masa dinner kita dianak tirikan jer,,,, btul ker? maybe aku dah hilang sensitivity. third year? haha whose know if i going or not. people I wanna have fun with my family (BIOD) tp kalau dah gather ngan kumpulan besar yg i only know 10% shj,,, i cant be myself. what the hell i care to other people that bising2 kata tak sporting lah or what ever cause I Have Right To Choose. that for the dinner...

Ni yg pasal teater, I not aktif member due to my other stuff yg aku lagi suka buat. so ada plak senior yg bising2 sbb tak involve, ko nak involve pergi ar involve... saya dah tawar hati. noktah. but am i still support teater? yes sbb ia menarik.

Uh I have enough with all of this, ada yg kata Akmal what do u have....... I tell U, I sincerely dun have what U have or what most people have. But i have what most people dun have. kalau semua org dalam dunia ni sama jer,,, baik mati! boring btul. tp kan ayat tu mmg mengguris maybe sbb kena kut, but takper I know what Im capable in.

Dua tahun aku asyik ikut jer apa org kata org buat. sekarang dah final, aku tak kisah dah. because the time after graduation I have another life to think about.

To my BioD family, no matter I love or I hate U with all my life but still u are my family, no matter how our past relations have been u still my family,,, because to the family we shall return to. (bende sama aku cakap kat Ayu).

Dan kepada yg cuba sakit kan hati aku, uh congratulation u are hell successful. and if u happy with it fine, if i do mistake to u i apologize,,, that all what can i offer.

Im in critical moment to plan my next life so people plz have some sensitivity that I not a doll!

Have a nice day

Down n Up like global warming n global cooling

Firstly, my plan for post-graduate study (MSc Programme) is likely to became true.....

The lecture say well Im more happy to supervise u if u can maintain your CGPA 3.++,,,,, so, I think I can, and then apply for master fellowship RM 1,300 a month wahaha,,,,

Anyway its not the money that I chase, but the knowledge,,, I not a book worm, more to computer worm (not virus ler) but at least I have a dream that shall be reality,,,,

What worrying me now is that,,, my treatment always contaminate but never mind cause I have discover the technical error and I shall get the result (FYP getting fast),,,, well as you know at most critical moment that we need to submit work struggle with borrowed life and time,, this would be the likely moment for problem to arrise... Oh GOD save me...

A new begining.... for my old self...

Just another me...

Dear people,,, today is my birthday, a sign that I have already 22. Well nothing planned to celebrate it. Why, I'm just busy or more sincerely I don't feel I have too. Me, myself comes from a family that not celebrate this day. I just know people celebrate it from movie n whatever.

But I never expect many people wish me happy birthday and that make my heart melt. A power of bound and information.

So, I just wanna say and express my deep gratitude for remembering me as well as being very sweet to me. Forgot all the gift, I don't need that. I just wish to be carved in your memory as a people that embrace his friends.

Let me share you something,,, as for the new year and my birthday; I want to obtain my old self. A far different people you know from today since I'm very ignorance hahahaa. Forgive me for all the mistake I have done so I can be what I used to be, a long time ago. Thank you.... dear friends.